So, the Meers have been with us for nearly 6 months now. I think that we have a fairly decent relationship with bio parents, although we do not see them or talk to them often. We do see Meer Mom at school functions, and things usually go fairly well; although, she does not like that we will not allow her to fill the kids pockets up with cookies before they get back in our van. For some odd reason, school functions are usually right in the middle of any kind of normal dinner hour and involve cookies. So, we let the kids have a cookie, but we are on our way home to dinner when the school function is over. We really want them to eat dinner, so only one cookie. We also don't eat in our van, at all, unless we are on a very long trip or we have run into a time emergency....so no cookies in the pockets, because they don't stay there. But, we do talk about the kids with Meer Mom, and e-mail her, and have photo books made for her, and in general, we get along fairly well.
Soon after the Meers came to live with us, we found out that bio parents live about 7 blocks away from us, so we have changed some travel routes and started to avoid certain stores. Bio parents have to have supervised visits, supervised by somebody from DSS. Well, I guess that Oldest Meer told Meer Mom our address, and she has started lurking about. At one of their visits, she showed the kids pictures of our house on her phone and asked if that was where we lived. When confronted by the supervising case worker, Meer Mom stated that she had no clue as to how those pictures got on her phone. Meer Mom has rung our door bell at times, she drives by, she sits in her car on the street outside our house until a Meer starts happily yelling that she is there, and then she drives away. Packages that have been delivered while we are at work have gone missing since she started lurking around. I am more than a little freaked out! Meer Mom has many mental health issues and has been known to be very threatening. I spend much of my sleep time dreaming that she is in the house and taking the kids and I can't get to them, no matter how hard I try. We have been trying to get a restraining order, but we need a police report for that, and the police will not take a report unless they find her on the property, and so far, we have not been able to get them there before she leaves.
We have been foster parents to about 25 children and this is the first time this kind of thing has happened. Has it happened to anybody else? What did you do?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
It's been forever and the Meers are still here!
So, the Meers are still with us and probably will be indefinitely. They have been ordered to a relative's house and to a grandmother's house by the judge, but so fare none of that has worked out. I have a bunch of things to blog about and I will in the next several days.
- Baby Meer and sensory issues
- Middle Meer wanting to stay forever
- Oldest Meer and his wanting to stay little forever
- Meer Mom lurking about our house
- The joys (truly!) of having the Meers living with us
- Cruising
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Stolen by a Blogging Thief (Again)
She stole it from some other bloggers and then I stole it from her(Carmen at Mom to the Screaming Masses: momtothescreamingmasses.typepad.com )
30 Questions:
1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
At the Emergency Room with one or another of the kids.
2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Groceries and dinner at Sticky Lips.
3. What do your bank checks look like?
Whatever the bank sent.
4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
Lane Bryant.
5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: A Kindle
6. What color is your toothbrush?
Pink
7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Clothing of all sizes and car seats (it helps when new foster kids come)
8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Carmine's tonight with the Meer's and Donna. Now I have a stomachache.
9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
I do not buy cards. I am a terrible person in that regard.
10. What is your worst bad habit?
Coffee every day.
11. Name a magazine to which you subscribe?
National Geographic, Reader's digest, Real Simple
12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Artichokes and Bacon
13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
The electrician
14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
Donna and my two best friends.
15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Does cutting up a watermelon and a pineapple count?
16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used?
Shoes.
17. Which shoe do you put on first?
The right one
18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
One of my bathing suits and one of my crocs.......
19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The recliner.
20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
Capris.
21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None....allergies and asthma.
22. Your favorite board game?
Pictionary.
23. What was the last board game you played?
Hungry Hippo.
24. Where did your vehicle come from?
The dealership?
25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
Shout by Tears for Fears
26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily?
Donna
27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
Black
28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
Not actually a household chore...I could really do without the process of dropping kids off and picking them up from day care.
29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Grilled chicken breasts marinated in Chiavetta's
30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
ice-cream
30 Questions:
1. It's 2AM and you are not home. You are more than likely:
At the Emergency Room with one or another of the kids.
2. What's the last thing you spent more than $100 on?
Groceries and dinner at Sticky Lips.
3. What do your bank checks look like?
Whatever the bank sent.
4. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from?
Lane Bryant.
5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: A Kindle
6. What color is your toothbrush?
Pink
7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Clothing of all sizes and car seats (it helps when new foster kids come)
8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it?
Carmine's tonight with the Meer's and Donna. Now I have a stomachache.
9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for?
I do not buy cards. I am a terrible person in that regard.
10. What is your worst bad habit?
Coffee every day.
11. Name a magazine to which you subscribe?
National Geographic, Reader's digest, Real Simple
12. Your favorite pizza toppings?
Artichokes and Bacon
13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book?
The electrician
14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most?
Donna and my two best friends.
15. What is the last thing you cooked?
Does cutting up a watermelon and a pineapple count?
16. Name something you wouldn't want to buy used?
Shoes.
17. Which shoe do you put on first?
The right one
18. What is the last thing you remember losing?
One of my bathing suits and one of my crocs.......
19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house?
The recliner.
20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning?
Capris.
21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why?
None....allergies and asthma.
22. Your favorite board game?
Pictionary.
23. What was the last board game you played?
Hungry Hippo.
24. Where did your vehicle come from?
The dealership?
25. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be?
Shout by Tears for Fears
26. You're sad, who can cheer you up easily?
Donna
27. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?
Black
28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most?
Not actually a household chore...I could really do without the process of dropping kids off and picking them up from day care.
29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken?
Grilled chicken breasts marinated in Chiavetta's
30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is?
ice-cream
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I am disturbed....
by a visit the Meers had with their Mom and Dad yesterday. Apparently, during the visit, the Mom told the oldest Meer to "get out of my face...I don't want to see you".
The kids came home from this visit quiet and subdued. The caseworker supervised the visit, but did not tell me until this morning what happened at the visit. The oldest Meer cried for Mom on a regular basis. I am disturbed that this mother gets to keep having visits with her kids when she is blatantly verbally abusing one of them in front of the kids. And I am disturbed that the caseworker did not find this important enough to tell us before the kids came home. It was almost 24 hours before she let us know. Now I know that the caseworker is busy...but come on, this was pretty big.
The kids came home from this visit quiet and subdued. The caseworker supervised the visit, but did not tell me until this morning what happened at the visit. The oldest Meer cried for Mom on a regular basis. I am disturbed that this mother gets to keep having visits with her kids when she is blatantly verbally abusing one of them in front of the kids. And I am disturbed that the caseworker did not find this important enough to tell us before the kids came home. It was almost 24 hours before she let us know. Now I know that the caseworker is busy...but come on, this was pretty big.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Let go and let God....
That is our motto for foster care. When the Meers came to live with us for 10 days, we said to each other that we would love for them to stay permanently, but we knew that was not going to happen. Well, God was listening...for now they have been living with us permanently (well, as permanently as foster care can be) for almost three weeks. Their permanancy plan is three fold: they go home with grandma, parents get their act together and they go home with parents, or they stay with us. Our thinking is that we really do not know what is best in the long run for these three....we pray to God every day to guide the people that are in control. Our job is to love and care for these boys and provide a safe place for them to be until that is not our job anymore. I think that I know what the best plan is for these boys and honestly, long term, that is not our house..it's grandma. We would probably adopt these boys in a heart beat and if that is what it comes down to, we will pray and hopefully make the right decision. But, really, there is a lady that they love and miss and who loves and misses them who can hopefully find a way for the boys to live with her. But, maybe a judge will make a different decision...we pray that a judge does not make the decision we think would be bad...but in the long run, we are really here to do our job of loving the boys the best we can. After that, we are not the ones in control....
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Meers
A few weeks ago, three boys stayed with us for 10 days while their real foster mother was on vacation. Well, now, those boys are coming to live with us today. They are 4,5,8 and they are absolutely awesome. They are also very busy. They love ride-on toys, playing Simon Says, drawing on the driveway, playing with matchbox cars, and tattling on each other. They also love pizza and ribs and salad, but do not like macaroni and cheese. I have never heard of a kid before that did not like macaroni and cheese.....
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